Saturday February 28th, is a day I have been dreading all year long. This grief journey after the loss of my only child to suicide is best described by Jerry Garcia when he wrote, what a long strange trip it’s been. I’ve learned a lot of things about myself, and about life in general during this process. One of the most important and useful things I have learned is, everything is temporary. This life, this circumstance, this attitude, these feelings, these things, this outlook on life, and primarily this understanding of who I am, as all things change through growth or loss. When speaking with a friend of mine about one of the people he was ministering to, the statement came to mind, “as long as they are still breathing, there is still a chance for them to change their circumstances. “
I once lived my life, sure about who I was, and where I was going. I was solid as a rock, possibly crossing the line towards arrogant. I was closed off to new ideas, dismissive of other views that didn’t parallel my own, and defensive about anything that would possibly cause me to change direction. Suffering such a surprising and devastating loss changed all of that for me. I am now on a road that was unplanned by me, but it seems familiar in some way. God’s providence, grace and love has lifted and carried me through this painful season, by sending His people into my life. I am so blessed to be so happy in my career, in my place, and on this road. Everything is temporary, and I am sure that there will be changes in my life, but that is part of travelling this road. I know that until my journey ends, God will be driving, and I will be surrendered to do God’s will, as long as I stay open to listening to what God is telling me, and being obedient. It amazes me to look back and see where I’ve been, and what I have survived, and to realize that I am still standing. I know that the only reason I am is because of the grace and love of the Creator. There are indescribable joys and freedom being totally surrendered to doing God’s will.
As long as you are still breathing, there is a chance to change your journey.
Via con Dios
Scott
Pastor Raines's Blog 
I, too, had to learn that we’re not the drivers… merely the vehicle. And we must be maintained properly and regularly in order to reach the ultimate destination. It’s reassuring to know we are supported by God’s pit crew at St Paul, always there for us when the wheels seem to be coming off.
God bless you.
Reblogged this on Random Thinking and commented:
In honor of my dear, childhood friend.